A deeper look into the way I came to be the the Royal woman I am today and the fullness of ME.
“Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.” ~Brené Brown
I am a woman who is in love with all the possibilities and potentials of a life well lived and well loved. I am a woman who has an unshakable faith in humanity, in Grace and in the good that is all around us, even when the shades are drawn. The light is always available. Always accessible. We need only turn it on.
I have an enormously rich 40+ year past colored with every shade, color and hue. Experiences rich with diversity, dysfunction, drama, chaos, deep pain and, trauma. I have used every experience in my life to cultivate a greater awareness, a deeper love, respect, acceptance, allowance, forgiveness and compassion, first for myself, and then for others. I don’t always color inside the lines, and I refuse to conform. I have always absolutely refused to give up on myself, on life, and just quit. I have fallen many times and have risen higher as a result. I know how to fall flat on my face, and rise with dignity, honor, humor and grace. I know how to get knocked clean on my royal ass and rise with dignity, joy, grace and class. I have always resolved to rise higher and higher. Growing in grace and wisdom with each rise.
“Courage starts with showing up and letting ourselves be seen. Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage. Truth and courage aren’t always comfortable, but they’re never weakness”
To peel back and give you a peek into a few of my many layers; over the past 40+ years I have felt the bite of betrayal, the devastation of deception and denial that precedes (multiple) divorces, the sting of the back-stab, the beatings and backlash of unabashedly standing up to users & abusers, and I have experienced the darkness and despair of depression. I have taken lengthy residence in a battered woman’s shelter, received public assistance more times than I can count, been robbed at gunpoint, kidnapped and held at gunpoint, and stared directly & wide eyed down the barrel of a 45 caliber, (several times). I have experienced lurid sexual harassment, been forcefully violated, resulting in visiting the inside of an abortion clinic as a patient, and been admitted to the ER to receive stitches for a stab wound.
I experienced the slow cancerous death of my sadistic second father and at 12 years young, I awoke to a house filled with only my sister and myself, to find him dead as he lay back in his favorite brown leather recliner; with eyes wide open. I witnessed the demise of my only brother and sister as crime consumed them and prison became their final home. I was conditioned my entire childhood and early adulthood by false Biblical principles laden in guilt, shame, manipulation, subjugation and control. Guilt and shame became like loyal, intimate family members to me. I was taught early on to keep the family secrets, and parental, family shame as my own personal shame.
And not discovering until well into my adulthood that my childhood wasn’t the pleasant Polly-Ville as I imagined in my make believe world of thoughts: I was completely, blind-sighted. After I was given my first ever (clinical) diagnosis of Complex PTSD, I was disenchanted and disillusioned to learn from my therapist that there was even a name for ‘me’ that psychiatrists/psychologists call, the ‘invulnerable child’.
I had no idea.
I have since faced and conquered the demons and monsters lurking in my closets and under my bed. This, is just to name a few of the events in my personal and professional life that I have Divinely overcome. I no longer feel a ferocious loyalty to anyone’s shame, manipulation or secrets.
So, needless to say, I wasn’t a slow learner…I was an intense learner. A…very…intense…learner.
But I have garnered much strength, gained incredible insight and gleaned much wisdom. All of which help me serve and contribute to the spiritual growth, development, awakening and healing of others.
I have learned to trust more of who Spirit says I am and less of the lies and fables I bought into and what others have tried labeling me as. I am learning everyday how to share my stories in such a way that they inspire others, uplift, encourage and empower others to rise to their size by dropping the dead weight of lies, shedding shame, blame, guilt, grief, manipulation, worry, control and fear. I continue shedding my shame and guilt, and prying the talons of manipulation loose that had a hold on my thoughts and emotions. Guilt, shame and grief suck the very life out of you, and I refuse to wallow in grief or allow the guilt of why I allowed what I allowed, why I stayed, why I went back, why I didn’t stand up sooner, why I didn’t speak out sooner, or the shame, worry and fear to hold the reigns in my life.
Because through many a trial and error and an awakening to the Divine in me, I came to know this universal truth intimately:
Life is meant to be delicious, delightful and Divine.
And our lives are meant to be lived empowered and enjoyably ever after…
“If you put shame in a Petri dish, it needs three things to grow exponentially: secrecy, silence and judgment. If we can share our story with someone who responds with empathy and understanding, shame can’t survive. ” ~Brené Brown
Although I am lit up with passion for women’s rights and equality, and the Women’s Empowerment Movement, I am equally passionate about fairness and due respect, honor and love for both men and women. I have had the enormous pleasure of working with, being friends with and experiencing the most amazing Kingly men in my life, both personally and professionally. I know they exist. I also know that had it not been for so many wonderful men who helped along the way physically, emotionally, financially, and overall support for the woman’s movement from the early 19th century on, we would have had struggled even more to achieve the rights and privileges we enjoy today.
I am also very aware of the ones who refuse to rise up, the frogs, the toads, the beasts, the villains and the minority of men who try their damndest to give the majority of men a bad name. They are not the majority, in my book.
I believe there are more amazing & Kingly men just waiting to be recognized and revered. I refer to these men, these masculine men as ‘third stage masculine’. They are the men who are equally sure, proud and at home with their masculinity and in touch with their softer side, recognizing their own need to share and receive love, respect, intimacy, connection and truth with women. I also believe the more that we as women rise to our Queenly size, this will automatically flow over into our brotherhood and men will begin rising to their Kingly size. That’s my service and contribution.
I am a woman who has not allowed the jaded parts of life, the shaded parts of humanity and my own traumatic experiences to shut me down, shut off my power, or break my indomitable spirit. I have played many roles in my life, many characters in my story, and have been a victim, a villain to my self worth, a survivor, a victor and a thriver. I have spent many years “Queening Up” my own fairytale messes and exposing the lies in the beliefs that conditioned my life. I have learned the art and beauty of not taking myself so seriously and know how to lighten up and laugh at life and at myself. I know how to have fun, have faith and how to fight for my personal and spiritual freedom. I know how to wear the white, in the light, of my truth.
I don’t have all the answers. Even with all my years of experience, insight and wisdom, I am still learning every day that the more I think I know, the more life shows me that I don’t know. I am always open to growth, to the process, and learning every day to trust the process myself, to let go, to surrender to the higher and greater part of myself. I have a driving desire to help raise women up in worth and value without feeling it necessary to lower a man, rip a man apart or to denigrate a man’s worth. I have an opinion and as a writer, I have a lot to say. (I hear brevity is sexy, and well, I guess that is another thing I can add to my list of ‘to do’s’)
I am grateful that there is still so much room for my growth. I have so many areas of life and potential still untapped. I also know that there are dark, shady, icky, light stealing villains in the world- I have been called naive by many, and I am very well aware of the darkness in our world- however, I would rather focus on being one of the lights, the beacons of hope, truth, trust, inspiration and encouragement and empowerment to people. Especially women-
Why do I work (predominantly) with women?
I have worked very successfully with many men, however I feel the biggest difference I can contribute to the peace in our homes and in humanity is by working directly with women. I feel by working with the ‘source’, the sustenance, and substance of life itself, and by empowering women, they will automatically create a shift in their homes, in their hearts, in the community and in their lives: and truth, love, peace, passion and joy can be restored. As we women rise to our Queenly size, it is a natural occurrence for the royal men in our lives to rise to their Kingly size. Those that are not ready to rise and grow, will with greater ease and less effort be allowed to let go- And we can still have peace.
I am a Spiritual Visionary and Healer, an Nth Degree Empath, HSP and Clairsentient, Coach, Trainer, Mentor, and Author. Assisting and supporting the internal awakening and birth of the Queen within Sleeping Beauties.
***My 5 children ***
Being a single mother of 5 and grandmother of 5 myself (and experiencing all that comes with raising children-the trying times, terrible two’s, turbulent teens, trials, tribulations and triumphs-and coming to peace and forgiving myself for my many shortcomings and failures as a mom) and being asleep to my inner worth and fairy tale frustrations, frogs a kissin’ & horny toad dissin’ for many decades, I have struggled with every shade of Queen and fought to give birth to my own spiritual worth. My own Queenly essence.
Going through, growing through, the ‘Queening Up’ process is very similar to experiencing a regular labor and pending birth of a baby. Whenever a woman is experiencing the birth of her inner Queen, she reaches what’s known as her “crowning” moment- where ALL her attention is summoned on the present moment. Intense focus, clarity, determination and commitment- and yes, even the pain is part of the process. It is in that defining moment- when the contractions are strongest, the intensity is heightened, that she must surrender and allow her royalty to emerge. Reclaiming her crown and commanding the attention of life around her.
*** My 5 children and 3 of my 5 grandchildren ***
It is such a joy, a privilege and an honor for me to help and experience a woman giving birth to her true value and spiritual worth.
I develop and facilitate Women’s Empowerment programs to help women Queen up their messes and turn them into smashing successes! Coaching, training, workshops, speaking, seminars, retreats, classes & group and private coaching for personal, spiritual & professional growth.
When you get caught up in the silly media enchantment and entanglement of perfection and fairy tales running reruns and wreaking havoc on your personal and professional life, I am here to support you. Mentoring and Coaching for growth, change and total transformation, is like life- a process. It takes 9 months to grow and give birth to a healthy, stable, secure baby.
I offer several ways that we can work magic together. All my programs are created through my “Queen’s Quest” structure. My number one program is my 9 month group coaching program (The Crown). This is followed by a 3-4 day Royal Retreat at the conclusion of the 9th month. I have a 4-month group program as well as individual coaching and monthly mentorship. Click here to learn more and to see if you and I are a magical fit!
Holistic Health is my focus & commitment. Spiritual, Mental, Emotional, Physical.
Helping Women Queen Up Their Fairytale Messes and Transform Them into Royal Wellness & Smashing Successes. ™