My Recent Personal Scare with the Little c Word…Not the One You’re Thinking

 

 

 

I am sharing something so very personal and hope that by sharing it, it will give  you inspiration, strength and renewal in your own faith. I shared this originally the other day on my Facebook page here  after I had to have a biopsy.

” Ok I’m back .  I am still crying and shaking but I need to get this out. As many of you know I had to have a biopsy last Thursday (they ended up doing two) and I reached out for tribal love, spiritual support and positive prayers.  I had literally hundreds of you text me, email me, post publicly and share prayers, support and what I knew with everything that I am, was nothing short of unconditional love and grace.  I have never really had or felt the support and love from my blood family, and my social media ‘family’ and true few friends have always stood in that gap for me.  My God have you all blessed me.  Literally.  This experience has called forth every ounce of faith I had and when I felt weakened, I re-read the love from all of you.  That gave me strength and renewed my faith more than you know.

I am sobbing right now. I am so very grateful to each one of you.

The in pouring of love and support I felt I truly believe is what has helped keep me focused on the results I wanted and the optimal health I deserve.  Anyone who has ever had to have a biopsy or had the yucky fear possibility of the c word, knows, it can take the most spiritually sound, faithful person to their knees and challenge us to grow beyond what we even thought possible.  Even as a spiritual ‘healer’ it doesn’t make me exempt from challenges that rock me to my core and call me to rise higher in faith and grace.  I am learning through this, that it is ok to be human.  It is ok to be afraid sometimes, and it is even more ok to reach out for love and support when I need it.  I have never been really good at that part.  I am getting better.

I have been meditating, focusing every waking possible thought and emotion of love and light throughout my whole body and chanting my homemade healing ‘mantra’ over myself, that I have used with my children and my clients “I am perfectly healthy, whole and complete, from the top of my head to the soles of my feet.”  Over and over.  A beautiful friend reminded me while I was at the doctors office to send love and light to ‘those’ cells.  That was a defining moment of faith for me.

The doctor said the results will take at least 2 weeks and could be longer because of the holidays.  The waiting is the worst.  The freakin’ worst.

I just got the phone call.  3 business days since my biopsy.  Not two weeks.  I thought, oh god, that can’t be good.  And then I let those icky yucky mind minions have a field day with my thoughts and emotions.  It went to voice mail because I was so afraid to answer the call.

I went into my oldest sons room and we listened to the message together.  As I listened, I was shaking so bad I thought I was going to fall over.  I began weeping, then covered my face and began sobbing.

The most glorified, beautiful word one in this situation could ever hope, pray and trust to hear is, ‘benign’.

Both biopsies were indeed, ‘benign’.

I couldn’t stop crying.  I am still crying.  It was as if a universal size boulder was gracefully lifted off me.  My soul restored.  Peace in my heart renewed.  My faith strengthened.  My love and gratitude for all of you runs the depth and width of the ocean.  I have one more experience/appt. on the 30th of December for another challenge and then the new year gets to be the best year ever. God and Grace are not done with me.  What a wake up call.  I have got s*** to do in this world.  It’s time I get to doing it

Thank you all again so super very much.  I love you <3 “

 

Stacie

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